Well, howdy there! Let’s talk about them horoscopes, you know, the stars and all that stuff. Folks say they can tell ya what’s gonna happen, so let’s see what the fuss is all about.
Now, they call this thing the SFgate Horoscope. Sounds fancy, don’t it? But it’s just like old Granny used to say, “The stars don’t lie, child, but sometimes they squint a bit.” Heh, Granny was a hoot.
This ain’t no rocket science, mind you. It’s supposed to be your daily guide and even a weekly guide, whatever that means. Like, are they gonna tell me if my chickens are gonna lay more eggs this week? I doubt it, but we’ll see.
- First off, they got this thing for Aries folks, born between March 19 and April 18. Says somethin’ about “tempting to say ‘I told you so.’” Sounds like my nephew, always thinkin’ he knows better. Maybe them Aries folks are just stubborn like him. Or maybe they just like to say “I told you so” when they get something right. Who knows? Them star people are strange birds.
- Then there’s talk about a free daily horoscope for December 1, 2024. Well, that’s long gone, ain’t it? But I guess they do this every day. Just like milkin’ the cows, gotta do it every day, whether you want to or not.
They also got somethin’ from PlentyOfFish sayin’ “Don’t you dare go lookin’ very far.” Now ain’t that somethin’? Sounds like they’re talkin’ about love. Like findin’ a good man ain’t hard enough already, now they’re tellin’ me not to look too far. Maybe he’s hidin’ in the cornfield? I swear, these folks make things complicated.
And there’s this lady, writes horoscopes for more than ten years. Wrote a whole book about stars, too. “Madame Clairevoyant’s Guide to the Stars” they call it. Fancy name, huh? I bet she knows a thing or two. Maybe she can tell me why my rooster’s been crowin’ at 3 am every mornin’. Drives me crazier than a fly in a milk jug.
So, how do you figure out your own star stuff? You gotta choose your zodiac sign. Sounds like pickin’ apples, but it ain’t that easy, I tell ya. They got all these signs, like Aries and Taurus, for folks born in April. Says Aries folks are energetic, adventurous, and enthusiastic. That’s just a fancy way of sayin’ they’re jumpy and can’t sit still, like my grandkid after a sugar rush.
And then they got Taurus folks, born later in April. They’re reliable and practical. That means they’re steady, like an old mule. Not much for excitement, but they’ll get the job done.
This whole horoscope thing, it’s kinda like plantin’ seeds. You plant ‘em, water ‘em, and hope for the best. Sometimes you get a good crop, sometimes you don’t. Maybe the stars are the same way. They give you an idea, but you still gotta do the work.
So, whether you believe in this star stuff or not, it’s kinda fun to think about. Maybe there’s somethin’ to it, maybe there ain’t. But it gives you somethin’ to ponder while you’re churnin’ butter or weedin’ the garden. And who knows, maybe them stars will help you find a good man, or at least keep your chickens layin’ eggs. Heck, anything’s possible in this crazy world.
Anyway, that’s about all I got to say about them horoscopes. If you wanna know more, go read that SFgate Horoscope yourself. Just don’t expect it to tell you how to fix a leaky roof or bake a perfect apple pie. Some things you just gotta figure out on your own.
This here whole thing, it’s just about your daily and monthly horoscopes, you know? Like what them stars say about your day, your week, your month, whatever. And it is all free. Can’t beat free, can ya?
Tags: [Horoscope, Daily Horoscope, Weekly Horoscope, Zodiac, Aries, Taurus, Astrology, SFgate Horoscope, Madame Clairevoyant, PlentyOfFish]
